Date: Tue, 15 Jul 1997 21:05:27 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna

Subject: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

To: jon

So I was hanging out in dirty Dan's Lakewood cafe when I hear this guffawing from the other booth. I turn around to find out who this fuckin' hyena is and it looks like this strung out dyke in a lab coat. I tell her to shut up and she blows smoke in my face and sez: MAKE ME. That's when I realize who it is.

So we get to talking about all the shit that blew over in high-school and what's this person doing and what's going on here ad there and MY GOD if you aren't working at Stream with all the other flunkies. Christ, does everyone work there? What kind of cultural black hole is that place. I get this image in my fucked up little head of all these computer geeks with coke-bottle glasses and pocket protectors. I bet it's more like a bunch of trekkers, rennies, and Goths (oh my!).

Shit, boy! Write me!

Date: Thu, 17 Jul 1997 10:09:52 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

IN THE NAME OF THE BEAST!!!!!!!!!!!! First of all I am so sorry that you ran into Mila, that is a sign that things for you will not get any better. That IS if they are already bad. I hope that you are an attractive chickie. I am not very good with names and in this case I cannot place a picture with a face. If you receive this, c.c.mail me.

Thanks.... jon a.k.a. "Atrophy"

Date: Thu, 17 Jul 1997 17:06:46 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna

Subject: Re: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

To: Jon

ah........It's okay. I was kinda non-descript to start off with. About 5'6" with black (dyed) hair and brown eyes. Uh, not too Goth to start with.... started up with the Goth scene about two years ago and haven't been able to get back in since the big car accident. -sigh- My poor car....

c.c.mail? Is that different from e-mail? I have no pictures of me, I'll see if I can get someone with one of those camera dealies or a scanner.

 

Date: Thu, 17 Jul 1997 15:45:03 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

 By the way, Trent Reznor is on rocket mail too! Like I said, unfortunately I don't know you by name. If you have a picture of yourself, please! Send it my way. I like this job basically because it's comfortable and the money and benefits are good! The only thing that I can't stand is the people that I work with. Gamers, geeks....shit like that! And for the most part, I have a dislike for computers.... to a certain point, otherwise I wouldn't be here. I remember going to Dan's and miss it greatly! I never leave the house, because I'm living with my mom and Mila pissed me off so I never talk to her anymore. I AM A HERMIT! I look forward to drinkin' and smokin' with the whole group again.....hopefully soon. anyway talk to you later!

Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 01:08:33 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna

Subject: Re: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

To: Jon

Jeezus, what the fuck did that dry bee-atch do that got you so pissed?

I'm just sick of her fuckn' mouth going off like a blind man with a .45! Anyway, why don't you come down to Dan's or Metro or some'n. I never get the fuck out of my hell-hole apartment because the train fucked my car sideways and I have no wheels (sniff). Who else works there? Mila said something about that geek Dorian and something about Sam. Does everyone work there? All the people at the Church seem to. Christ! BE GOTHIC! LAY OFF THE NERD WORD!

 

Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 19:47:10 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re[2]: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

as, I'm sure you can tell, I don't have e-mail. Mila is obnoxious and pissy. She thinks she's at the top of the goddamn fuckin world, and she probably is because the world is just a pile of shit! Anyway, like I said I miss Dan's Lakewood cafe, and when you told me that you were there not too long ago, I will admit I got super fuckin pissed... but that has become routine since I moved in with my mom. I can't smoke anymore or drink or dress up the way I want to so I'm a pretty goddamn fuckin bitter son of a bitch. I hate gamers, I hate most Goths, unless they put out, and basically I hate most people. I am like everyone else, slapping together a band that will be worshipped by the like Goth fucks and everyone will service me sexually and put out WHEN I SAY! Marilyn Manson will be my bitch! Trent Reznor will be my wife and suck me off at MY COMMAND! my address is ________ dr. which is in Carrolton and I ASUME that you work at the Carrollton site, if you do then you need to swing by my place and we can go

out for something, I don't know maybe coffee? from the Carrolton site, go up trinity mills towards midway rd.....AFTER you pass Josey....OH FUGG IT!!! JUST CALL ME, XXX-XXXX...call me as soon as you receive this!!!, I'm also sending you a bitmap that I made. now THIS is gothic!

Date: Mon, 21 Jul 1997 14:28:00 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna

Subject: Mr. big bitter man.....

To: Jon

Dude, I have no car--the train saw to that. I'm at a friend's place on his computer because my phone got turned off. And what the hell is a trinity site? Oh! You think I work at stream? No way! I'm trying to avoid those losers like the plague.

You live with your mom? Aren't you a little old for that? Mila said you lived with her for a while. Do that again. Jeezus! It can't be as bad as living with your mom. Fuck.

Oh! That reminds me.

Story running around Dan's right now: Nathan K and his chick got in a fight and Nathan hit her breaking three ribs. Supposedly she can't lift her arms right now from the pummeling Nathan gave her. I'd whip his shit but the fuckin' braces I have to wear mean a good top blow and I'm down. I don't even know where the little shit lives.

Date: Mon, 21 Jul 1997 19:36:32 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re: Mr. big bitter man.....

 wow! will you marry me? I'll try and get ticket's for us to the fetish rubber ball taking place in London this October!:) this chickie has some pep!

From: bella donna

Subject: Re: Mr. big bitter man.....

To: Jon

fetish ball? kewl--I'll get some brasso and we'll polish up the braces.

You're wearing the dress.

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 14:29:58 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re[2]: Mr. big bitter man.....

 awesome!!!! I like your way of thinkin' I hope you are not related to Mila because I'm in a killin' mood!:) so you got hit by a train!! anyone who can survive that must be meant to accomplish something great in their lives. Yeah, I received a message from Mila "smoke stack" Burton! she told me about Nathan's girl friend. I think I speak for mankind here when I say that "EVE OWES ADAM SOME GODDAMN RIBS!" just kidding.. anyway's get a scanner and send me something DAMMIT! I am hurting because I don't know who I'm "bangin" here, so to speak. Oh and the reason I asked if you knew or where related to Mila is because you mentioned Leslie at _____. When I saw that I intentionally shit on myself!! Not because of Leslie but simply because I like it.... it's warm.......THANKS!!! LATER!!!

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 13:49:02 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna <bella_donna@rocketmail.com> Add to Address Book

Subject: Re[2]: Mr. big bitter man.....

To:Jon_Sustaita@stream.com

Gee...I dunno if I can deal with someone who shits in his pants.

Who the fuck are you talking about? I never said anything like that.

It was the goddamned light rail that hit me up in Chicago. A real train would have split the car in two, not just turned it into a giant cashew.

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 16:24:02 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re[3]: Mr. big bitter man.....

bella is not what she seems was the message that I received from Leslie@____.com. instincts tell me Mila "the jackal" Burton is behind this. she will pay! I am keeping my c.c.mail open just

for you! please send me a description of you and where i remember you

from. Also about shitting on myself, I was kidding. thank you.

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 17:51:47 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re[3]: Mr. big bitter man.....

Oh and another thing! I am really fuckin board and would like to talk to someone who is not my fellow employee like um......YOU! I need a full description of you and where we have met. didn't you mention something about high school or something? I see a hot chickie on the other end of this PC! all I'm doing is surfing the net and checking out the "skin two" on line. wow, soooo many people are wearing black rubber! I am NOT alone! are you going to school? and what is so bad about stream other than the people that work here?.....oh, I see your point. WELL, the money is great and it's better than sitting around and doing nothing. besides, people who say that they would never work for stream spend too much time on their computers and know too much!!! computer Junkies! What ever happened to listening to the exploited and vandalizing! Kids just don't do that shit anymore! I spend enough time in front of the fuckin things but I'm getting paid for it! I don't even have a computer at home but I know that when I do get one, it'll be loaded with every quake game ever made and skinny puppy videos. it will be black and have red Anton Levay Satan stickers all over it. it will also have midi software on it with all of my electronic and industrial equipment and red strobe lights and the electric hellfire club and the thrill kill cult. I will be a God, and all the ladies will agree! there!

BEEP! IF I WERE YOU, I would leave my e-mail open!

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 19:49:28 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re[2]: aren't you one of Mila's friends?

ALLL I CAN DO IS THINK OF WHO THE FUCK YOU COULD BE!!!!! I tell you what, I am off tomorrow and I would appreciate it if you could give me a call. I would like to go over to Dan's tomorrow. I'm also thinking about seeing Howard Stren's stuttering John and Crackhead bob tomorrow on the grassy knoll.... my number is 972-245-3894. LATER

 

Date: Tue, 22 Jul 1997 22:04:45 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna

Subject: bad idea! bad!

To: Jon

Fuck, man. I am too shy now. I go out every so often to places like Dan's because I know there's no-one there who makes a difference. The train didn't just fuck my knees.

I'd like to call you but my phone is out, remember? I'm only over here to check e-mail and shit like that. Maybe this weekend though. Can you get someone to bring you down to Dan's? I bet you could call Mila or Miles or Somer. Doesn't Somer work at Stream?

Leslie would be Leslie A, my best bro'. He's a bit of a dick but he's helped me out of a few scrapes. I dunno if Ms. Burton ever met him. She might have, but they're not related.

Yeah, I hate the think-boxes too, but over here, we're all addicted to free e-mail. It makes us feel smart. Todd's still trying to get us off his machine so he can finish his plans of taking over the world or whatever.

Fuck! I need a job. I want my phone back on.

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re: bad idea! bad!

if you've never worked for stream before, and YOU NEED A JOB...don't flatter yourself!!! from the sounds of it you should be capable of getting a job here! Don't knock it! easy money! Somer doesn't work at stream anymore. she works at some other computer place. She fuckin bores me! she doesn't even make a slight effort to give me a call. so I just said "FUG IT!" I've got better things to do...I am pretty happy first of all because I am going to the lollapalooza for KORN! TOOL! THE PRODIGY!! MY BAG! MY PIPE! ROCKIN! I can't wait. I may be able to go to Dan's this weekend. I'm not too sure. my mom hates Mila because she isn't a good friend.

I have my Goth moments, I have my lounge king moments, I have my drag queen moments and sometimes they cross over...multiple personality! sometimes I think I'm the most interesting person I know because hell, I surprise even myself! it's not a pompous thing it's just that considering the people that I hang with or used to hang with, it's true..... you would probably agree. your not crippled are you? kewl. after I sent you the last e-mail, I realized that you did mention that once before. awesome. I want to meet this dick Leslie. he will die!

Date: Mon, 28 Jul 1997 13:54:10 -0700 (PDT)

From: bella donna

Subject: Are you crazy?

To: Jon

Work at stream? I think that involves talking on the phone. Uh, no thank-you. I need something less....interactive...

I'd like to go to lollapalooza, but I don't think I could take the heat out there--or the people. Damn. I guess I'll just have to get three or four people to stand in my closet with me while we play the radio REAL LOUD. It's kinda the same.

I e-mail Mila too. She said she tried to call you to see if you wanted to go down to Dan's this weekend, but you never returned her call. The way she puts it, "He's pissed off at me because I was too busy to go pick him up. I have a lot of shit to do right now and I don't have time to play taxi to someone who never says thank-you." and then some more shit about the three weeks and getting you the job and something about twenty dollars "but fuck that. No one I ever lent money to ever paid me back--and people wonder why I'm uncharitable. I'm sick of being fucked over." She's been going through a lot of crap right now (you'll just laugh and be happy about that) and it's starting to show. She looks a lot older I think and has lost weight since I first knew her. "So Jon doesn't want to forgive me for whatever. Fuck it. I'm not going to crawl on my hands and knees for that. That's bullshit."

Leslie has his own problems. He might be coming off as an asshole but he's really very sweet and understanding. He's been a big help through everything and I don't know where I'd be without him. He's just concerned--like some kind of mother hen--always fussing and shit like that. It gets on my nerves, but I know why he does it. I just wish he'd lighten up.

Todd (hi!) is helping me with this. I'm dictating. I wanted to respond as quickly as possible because I don't know what your schedule is and I wanted to get this to you before you left work. I like it like this, where you don't know who I am or what I look like. It's better because you won't have that image in your head of what I used to be like and what I am now. I feel safer.

Date: Mon, 28 Jul 1997 16:46:01 -0400

From: Jon

To: bella donna

Subject: Re: Are you crazy?

first thing's fuckin last, please get that Leslie fuck off my ass!!! Every-time I try to scratch he's in my way! sorry but he pissed me off and I've found it to be a great high for me so I'll keep at it. I think that it's wrong to hide from me like that. I don't care how you used to be or how you are now. Either way, if you piss me off I will beat you and torture you equally:) I would really want to see you because I don't remember who you are, what you look like and if your a piece o' ass!!<-----notice my perverse sense of humor! Anyway, do you smoke? it pisses me off when Mila has the advantage of seeing people that I haven't seen in years, especially people I don't know if I've seen in years or not. Don't be too shy, cause I am pretty shy too, and cuddly, and cute and a liar......so, there later!